i've changed alot, so now i'm turning back into the old me again.

hye guys, i know i've changed alot from when i first started this accout and i realized that i've been so bz thinking about all the things i lost, all the things i dont have, all the pain and suffering and stuff that i havent realized alot of things around me. i just realized i have the most awesome friends like ever in the history of friends! i have an amazing bionik mother! an annoying yet fun brother(i'm getting chills down my back lol), and i have the most nicest and caring boyfriend.. eventhough there are alot of people bringing me down, i now know that they are weaker than me that is why they are pushing me down. making me feel bad about my self when all along there is nothing to feel down about. i know my life is crappy, i know i aint brilliant,i know i'm not rich(thats for sure!) but i have a whole lot more and i'll make the best of it! thanks to all my friends for being there for me, through the highs and the lows. through the pain and sorrow, and is always there to cheer me up. when they're around i can never have a reason to be sad or feel mad. i'm really blessed and i really thank god. THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!!

well i'm not just writing this blog to thank people(and god). its kinda like my diary right? so i'm gonna write about some stuff thats going on in my life :) this 17th i will be registering at SEGi university college at damansara, and i am really excited to finally be doing something rather than sit on my but!! my flight will be on the 15th and i'll be hanging out in KL for a few days before registry. if you happen to see me, just say hello or you can just ignore me cause it doesnt really matter. the thing is i'm really excited to be doing this but i'm really sad about leaving my precious island and friends. i'm gonna miss the heat(eventhough its not much different between where i'm going and where i am now), i'm gonna miss the beaches, the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks and the white sand, the feeling when you have sand between your toes, the place me and my friends would always lepak, small things like calling up on a friend and abruptly asking him/her to hang out or just go have a piknik or something. i'm gonna miss a whole lot of things.. wish me luck guys!!

i hope i wont forget and never ever forget my past memories, the real me, my uber fantastic friends, and my beloved family. and most of all i hope i never forget my true dreams, i dont want to be chasing something that i really dont want. pray for me and i'll always be writing more.. ^_^

Lots of Love,

Ave The Strange.

I'm So Sorry, But I Cant Stand This Anymore.

hye guys, sorry but this post wont be the happy me writing normal stuff that i usually do. its just that i've been through a lot lately and i think that if i dont do this now i'll just fall apart peice by piece. My life has been going down hill since early this year, sorry to let you know but since the new year i have not been very happy, my mind is never at ease i cry a lot, i cant sleep, i cant do anything or i'll just mess up! i cant even have a conversation with anyone cause i'll turn out boring and dull. i've been praying to god to just wash away all these things that keep bothering my mind, i've never been this fragile all my life. i used to be like "oh, so u hate me then thats fine. just leave then," and i dont mean this only in relationship i used to be like this even in friendship. i used to be so strong and i could just control my feelings, i could hold back my tears on anything till lately its been draining out of my eyes each and everynight. some nights if i'm lucky enough i wont cry, if theres someone there to make me think of other things i wont. i really feel like running somewhere with no one there to bother me, so i can cry and scream and yell all i want cause right now i need to protect myself so no one else would get hurt. i feel so plastic sometimes, pretending to like someone that i dont just so i wont cry at night because they make me happy. some of my friends arent even friends, they just text me or im me about whatever and i'll just laugh along because it uses up my time. So yes, i'm plastic i'm a faker, i fake my feelings. but is it wrong that i'm doing this? i feel regret in my vains. why am i doing this?? its all happening right now since the new year and i just dont want to do this anymore. i just want to smile like i used to, cry when i want to and theres always someone there to comfort me and hug me to make me feel okay. i just miss being happy, and i keep praying that this wrong step, the wrong choice/path that i've taken will lead me to happiness somehow. i dont know maybe this is all a mistake, or maybe its just a test? all i can do now is keep on going. should i keep on faking or should i just stop this nonsense now? oh god please help me..

solo quiero encontrar el verdadero amor, y quiero que él aquí conmigo ahora

pray for me guys,

Ave The Strange. 

Lets Battle!!!

so hye again n again.. welcome to my new blog post and our new month in this new year(yey!) well this time i'll review another few bands that you should check out first of is the talented christopher sleeps or was known as a sunset diary before changing their names. he plays an abstract kind of music and is very soothing, often collabs with other musicians and his music sounds awesome. this guy is from australia and i really think you guys should check him out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqGxKFZ4uSk.

so next in line is a metal rock band from Japan known as Myproof, so this is a new band introduced to me by a friend and must i say i love them!! the music is great not really heavy and i think it is easily excepted. if you love eyes set to kill then you will love this band. i promise you, you wont regret tuning into their music. >_<

so movie of the blog(sounds wierd but oh well) is Into The Wild its an awesome movie it is based on a true story. Its about a college graduate who realized that he has been wasting his life for such a long time doing things to satisfy others who well dont really care about him they just want to use him to make themselves feel proud(parents listen up!). because he felt disgusted by these 'people' who actually lied to him all this while and feels that society sucks!(sorry for the bad language) he then runs off and becomes a tramp or more known as leather tramp because he doesnt have wheels to travel in. so after years of working and traveling and meeting new people he then decides to go into the wild to be one with nature and hoping he would be at peace there. hoping that it is way better and uncruel like the society around him. so.. if you want to know more and want to know the ending watch it yourself and hopefully it touches you the way it did with me. its a worth watch movie, really nice and it goes deep. :)

and know about me,myself and i. i've been bored lately, nothing really excites me anymore but the fact that maybe i'll be going to college soon and resume my studies.(what???) yes i'm excited that i'm going to go learn something. this is like the first time in my hollow,gloomy,sad life that i really want to learn and get off my lousy bump! hopefully it will be next month so i wont feel bored anymore. i've also started playing digimon battle, an online game that was recently launched. its an international game so you can interact with people from all over the world. its basicly the same with the digimon games on the play station, but you can catch and train digimons and battle with other trainers and there are quests that you need to complete. so yeah.. i like it but its nearly the same as other online games that i've played but with characters that i know and really liked to watch when i was a kid( not like i'm that old) so thats about it, dont wanna waste your times reading all of these stuff. bye guys!

Love You Guys A Lot! >_<

Ave The Strange.