I'm So Sorry, But I Cant Stand This Anymore.

hye guys, sorry but this post wont be the happy me writing normal stuff that i usually do. its just that i've been through a lot lately and i think that if i dont do this now i'll just fall apart peice by piece. My life has been going down hill since early this year, sorry to let you know but since the new year i have not been very happy, my mind is never at ease i cry a lot, i cant sleep, i cant do anything or i'll just mess up! i cant even have a conversation with anyone cause i'll turn out boring and dull. i've been praying to god to just wash away all these things that keep bothering my mind, i've never been this fragile all my life. i used to be like "oh, so u hate me then thats fine. just leave then," and i dont mean this only in relationship i used to be like this even in friendship. i used to be so strong and i could just control my feelings, i could hold back my tears on anything till lately its been draining out of my eyes each and everynight. some nights if i'm lucky enough i wont cry, if theres someone there to make me think of other things i wont. i really feel like running somewhere with no one there to bother me, so i can cry and scream and yell all i want cause right now i need to protect myself so no one else would get hurt. i feel so plastic sometimes, pretending to like someone that i dont just so i wont cry at night because they make me happy. some of my friends arent even friends, they just text me or im me about whatever and i'll just laugh along because it uses up my time. So yes, i'm plastic i'm a faker, i fake my feelings. but is it wrong that i'm doing this? i feel regret in my vains. why am i doing this?? its all happening right now since the new year and i just dont want to do this anymore. i just want to smile like i used to, cry when i want to and theres always someone there to comfort me and hug me to make me feel okay. i just miss being happy, and i keep praying that this wrong step, the wrong choice/path that i've taken will lead me to happiness somehow. i dont know maybe this is all a mistake, or maybe its just a test? all i can do now is keep on going. should i keep on faking or should i just stop this nonsense now? oh god please help me..

solo quiero encontrar el verdadero amor, y quiero que él aquí conmigo ahora

pray for me guys,

Ave The Strange. 

Lets Battle!!!

so hye again n again.. welcome to my new blog post and our new month in this new year(yey!) well this time i'll review another few bands that you should check out first of is the talented christopher sleeps or was known as a sunset diary before changing their names. he plays an abstract kind of music and is very soothing, often collabs with other musicians and his music sounds awesome. this guy is from australia and i really think you guys should check him out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqGxKFZ4uSk.

so next in line is a metal rock band from Japan known as Myproof, so this is a new band introduced to me by a friend and must i say i love them!! the music is great not really heavy and i think it is easily excepted. if you love eyes set to kill then you will love this band. i promise you, you wont regret tuning into their music. >_<

so movie of the blog(sounds wierd but oh well) is Into The Wild its an awesome movie it is based on a true story. Its about a college graduate who realized that he has been wasting his life for such a long time doing things to satisfy others who well dont really care about him they just want to use him to make themselves feel proud(parents listen up!). because he felt disgusted by these 'people' who actually lied to him all this while and feels that society sucks!(sorry for the bad language) he then runs off and becomes a tramp or more known as leather tramp because he doesnt have wheels to travel in. so after years of working and traveling and meeting new people he then decides to go into the wild to be one with nature and hoping he would be at peace there. hoping that it is way better and uncruel like the society around him. so.. if you want to know more and want to know the ending watch it yourself and hopefully it touches you the way it did with me. its a worth watch movie, really nice and it goes deep. :)

and know about me,myself and i. i've been bored lately, nothing really excites me anymore but the fact that maybe i'll be going to college soon and resume my studies.(what???) yes i'm excited that i'm going to go learn something. this is like the first time in my hollow,gloomy,sad life that i really want to learn and get off my lousy bump! hopefully it will be next month so i wont feel bored anymore. i've also started playing digimon battle, an online game that was recently launched. its an international game so you can interact with people from all over the world. its basicly the same with the digimon games on the play station, but you can catch and train digimons and battle with other trainers and there are quests that you need to complete. so yeah.. i like it but its nearly the same as other online games that i've played but with characters that i know and really liked to watch when i was a kid( not like i'm that old) so thats about it, dont wanna waste your times reading all of these stuff. bye guys!

Love You Guys A Lot! >_<

Ave The Strange.