Drowning & nobodies saving me

hye, so lately i have been gloomy and not bright like i used to b. life looks so dark nowadays that it frightens me, nobodies there to hear me out on my problems not even my my bf(now my ex) its frustrating to try to speak out when no one is listening, and your screaming to the top of your lungs and nobody cares. i feel like i've lost all hope in living at all. everything thats dear to me are taken away and in a few more days or month i'm surely goona give up for good cuz i;m just waiting for that buzzer to sound. i cant stand watching every one that i love in pain and i;m the one who stands by to listen to them taking up all their fear and pain to make them feel better when i myself am in pain & no one ever wants to save me not even the dearest to me. To the people around me, i;m selfish cuz i dont give them what they can give me, money, help, food, fun! but they dont see that all i want is a talk, a hug, some caring and love. When i;ve been trying to give them all that they wouldnt even care to notice. I am a nobody i have nothing more to give other than that, and i've given up hope in all of the creatures that are men. They dont care, they just give pain. they give hope and take it away, they leave their children, loved ones, wife or anything else for fun, for joy they only come back when they want love. some people might like that but for me, a person who lived alone her whole life, and the only love that i get is from my mother who is hardly home working. & my brother who left the house when i was in primary school to live in the hostel. my only best friend is myself, the only person who knew what men did to me is me. people around me dont know anything that happened to me. i never share cuz no one listens. & when i try to trust, i'm decieved and i'm left to suffer alone. all i wanted was to be happy and no one could give me that and now more torture is given to my family and me. and i finally think that its time for me to leave. And no one would care if i go, so i'll suffer slowly to my end. whatever it takes to end the misery through the pills or the smoke. i'll just end up another pile of dirt right? till we meet again(if we do) take care. Salam

Love you till death,

Ave The Strange.