I'm Strange and I Like It, Just The Way I am

so hello..hello.. viewers(or readers??) i dont really have a purpose on wirting today but i just want to..so we had a bowling match again today (me and my friends myra,picart,syahmi,bobon,and amir) we had a blast!!! it was so much fun than the previous week. i hit alot of pins this time and sadly i broke a nail(OMG!!) hehe.. well thats so not worth the drama.. we had a good time and i know im gonna miss them alot. xpecially since i wont be seeing them for a long time.miera is off to matrix in kuala nerang,kedah. ieka got into uitm in sungai petani. and pikah,amin n picart got into uitm in perak.. hope everyone will keep in touch~ will really miss u guys like so bad!!

 now enough of the goodbyes now time for my music playlist! so the band i want you to tune is this time is the friday night boys, they are kinda popular(well you can say so). their music is the simple kind of highschool garage music?? well you can check them out on youtube or on myspace.here the link fellas!! ---> http://www.myspace.com/thefridaynightboys :) the other person i think you would like is marit larsen! shes one of the gals grom M2M.. yeah~  remeber?? no??? if not than you s*ck! hehe.. mind my languange ;p well shes singing solo now and she is way better than her other half marion raven(sorry marion just the honest truth). and know her new single is climbing up the charts in the US and i really like that song you can try it out.. maybe it'll suit your style?? (that doesnt sound right) well the songs called "if a song could get me you" go check it out now!!

ok thats all for now i guess?? i'll write again when i have the time and idea.. till next time!!

Love You Guys,

Ave The Strange.

i've changed alot, so now i'm turning back into the old me again.

hye guys, i know i've changed alot from when i first started this accout and i realized that i've been so bz thinking about all the things i lost, all the things i dont have, all the pain and suffering and stuff that i havent realized alot of things around me. i just realized i have the most awesome friends like ever in the history of friends! i have an amazing bionik mother! an annoying yet fun brother(i'm getting chills down my back lol), and i have the most nicest and caring boyfriend.. eventhough there are alot of people bringing me down, i now know that they are weaker than me that is why they are pushing me down. making me feel bad about my self when all along there is nothing to feel down about. i know my life is crappy, i know i aint brilliant,i know i'm not rich(thats for sure!) but i have a whole lot more and i'll make the best of it! thanks to all my friends for being there for me, through the highs and the lows. through the pain and sorrow, and is always there to cheer me up. when they're around i can never have a reason to be sad or feel mad. i'm really blessed and i really thank god. THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!!

well i'm not just writing this blog to thank people(and god). its kinda like my diary right? so i'm gonna write about some stuff thats going on in my life :) this 17th i will be registering at SEGi university college at damansara, and i am really excited to finally be doing something rather than sit on my but!! my flight will be on the 15th and i'll be hanging out in KL for a few days before registry. if you happen to see me, just say hello or you can just ignore me cause it doesnt really matter. the thing is i'm really excited to be doing this but i'm really sad about leaving my precious island and friends. i'm gonna miss the heat(eventhough its not much different between where i'm going and where i am now), i'm gonna miss the beaches, the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks and the white sand, the feeling when you have sand between your toes, the place me and my friends would always lepak, small things like calling up on a friend and abruptly asking him/her to hang out or just go have a piknik or something. i'm gonna miss a whole lot of things.. wish me luck guys!!

i hope i wont forget and never ever forget my past memories, the real me, my uber fantastic friends, and my beloved family. and most of all i hope i never forget my true dreams, i dont want to be chasing something that i really dont want. pray for me and i'll always be writing more.. ^_^

Lots of Love,

Ave The Strange.

I'm So Sorry, But I Cant Stand This Anymore.

hye guys, sorry but this post wont be the happy me writing normal stuff that i usually do. its just that i've been through a lot lately and i think that if i dont do this now i'll just fall apart peice by piece. My life has been going down hill since early this year, sorry to let you know but since the new year i have not been very happy, my mind is never at ease i cry a lot, i cant sleep, i cant do anything or i'll just mess up! i cant even have a conversation with anyone cause i'll turn out boring and dull. i've been praying to god to just wash away all these things that keep bothering my mind, i've never been this fragile all my life. i used to be like "oh, so u hate me then thats fine. just leave then," and i dont mean this only in relationship i used to be like this even in friendship. i used to be so strong and i could just control my feelings, i could hold back my tears on anything till lately its been draining out of my eyes each and everynight. some nights if i'm lucky enough i wont cry, if theres someone there to make me think of other things i wont. i really feel like running somewhere with no one there to bother me, so i can cry and scream and yell all i want cause right now i need to protect myself so no one else would get hurt. i feel so plastic sometimes, pretending to like someone that i dont just so i wont cry at night because they make me happy. some of my friends arent even friends, they just text me or im me about whatever and i'll just laugh along because it uses up my time. So yes, i'm plastic i'm a faker, i fake my feelings. but is it wrong that i'm doing this? i feel regret in my vains. why am i doing this?? its all happening right now since the new year and i just dont want to do this anymore. i just want to smile like i used to, cry when i want to and theres always someone there to comfort me and hug me to make me feel okay. i just miss being happy, and i keep praying that this wrong step, the wrong choice/path that i've taken will lead me to happiness somehow. i dont know maybe this is all a mistake, or maybe its just a test? all i can do now is keep on going. should i keep on faking or should i just stop this nonsense now? oh god please help me..

solo quiero encontrar el verdadero amor, y quiero que él aquí conmigo ahora

pray for me guys,

Ave The Strange.